Not only do I have a toxic relationship with money, but I think I also have a Fear of Success.
How fucked up is that?
I realized this, fully, the other day while listening to my friend Alida McDaniel, on Periscope, when she was talking about how to visualize success, or your higher self. She said something during that talk that kicked me in the nuts and flogged me–metaphorically speaking that is–into the realization that I actually have a Fear of Success itself.
Why would anyone be afraid of success?
Mostly, I think, because they haven’t thought about what life would be like once they achieve it, and so they have a Fear of the Unknown, probably the most basic Fear that all living beings have. This is lizard brain territory, for sure.
“Is it going to eat me?” You know, the Lions, Tigers, and Bears ‘Oh My’ variety of Fear.
And success is no different, even if it’s not the King of the Forest all covered in fur. We aren’t accustomed to being successful, so we find ways NOT to run into that lion. We avoid that forest all together. We sabotage our goals before we even start, because we have no idea what life is going to be like if we achieve them. That’s pretty messed up, for sure, but true nonetheless.
That’s not to say that I’ve never had any success. I’ve achieved many things in life: academic degrees, recorded an album, published a book, written over a hundred articles, and on and on. But I’ve never achieved financial success, for two reasons:
- I have a toxic relationship with Money, and
- I have a Fear of Success
To flog this Fear into submission, Alida challenged those of us watching the other day to visualize our Higher Selves, to imagine what life would be like once we had reached our goals.
She posed 4 simple questions for us to answer, and told us that once we answered them, to start acting, and BEING our higher self, because that’s the only way to attract success. We have to be in alignment with what we want, or it won’t come to us. And since I’m always up for a challenge, I sat down that afternoon and did just that.
I’m gonna tackle my Fear of Success, right here and fuckin’ now! I’m gonna flog that fuckin’ lion back into the Forest whence it came, and send a message to the tigers and bears at the same time.
When I began to answer the questions, I caught myself using the words, ‘if’ and ‘would,’ a lot. I stopped for a second, glanced over what I had written, realized that this was a projection of the very same Fear I was trying to overcome! So I went back and changed all those ‘ifs’ and ‘woulds’ into WHENS and WILLS! Fuck the subjunctive! Screw the maybes and qualifiers. You can do this, too! BE the ball! Be what you want to be, NOW! Flog that damned lion!
Five Questions to Visualize Your Higher Self and Flog the Fear of Success:
When I achieve my goals…
1. Who will I be? Will I be significantly different?
- I will be Steve Bivans, but cranked up a few notches. Imagine THAT! lol. I will worry less about money, and bills, for sure. That will free up a lot of time to do the things I want to do:
- To write, teach, and inspire others.
- To fund projects in my neighborhood and world-wide to help others in myriad ways.
- To travel, see the world, meet people, make connections, bring them together, party, eat, write about it.
- To speak publicly, organize huge and small events to motivate people to live more consciously, with more compassion, gratitude, generosity.
2. What habits will I have?
- I will write for at least an hour per day.
- I will exude gratitude every day, all day.
- I will practice random acts of kindness and generosity every day.
- I will go for daily walks, wherever I am, even in shitty weather.
- I will take Paysh out dancing, once a week.
- I will eat more veggies. Yes, you heard it here, first, from the horse’s mouth.
- I will channel more energy into my work and play.
- I will call my daughter, my brother, and my parents more often.
- I will have a real system to monitor the flow of my money.
3. What thoughts will I have?
- Money and wealth flow through me. I am money, walkin’!
- I am the creator of my own reality. The I behind the eye.
- I am the Universe looking upon itself.
- I have no Fear. I flog it into submission and laugh at its rotting corpse.
- I can do ANYTHING!
- I cannot be stopped.
- I am the water flowing through the valley. I do not rule, nor do I wish to, but I cannot be diverted from my inevitable goal: the sea of consciousness and love.
- No one ever kicks a dead dog. In other words, I will not listen to those who criticize me negatively.
4. What will be my story?
- I came, I struggled, I prevailed.
- My mission is my story: Shireness to the World, and Spring again to the Trees.
- I treated others as I would want to be treated myself.
- I forgave those who wronged me, but turned away from negativity.
- I forgave myself for my own transgressions.
- I used my mistakes as stepping stones to success. Edison tried 10,000 versions of the light bulb before he found the right combination, and lit up the world.
- I used all my abilities to make the world a better place, to bring hope, smiles, and am an example of consciousness rising.
5. What will be my work?
- To write works that inspire people to be higher versions of themselves.
- To teach people how to find their path to happiness and success.
- To build businesses and organizations that bring people together in a spirit of community, of Shireness, and to clean up our environments: bring spring again to the trees.
And that’s it! Keep in mind, that this is my first draft of the answers to these questions, so I have not honed them in to a sharp edge. The whip is still cracking. I’m gonna flog my Fear of Success into submission, eventually.
Will YOU do the same? Start right now. Today.
If you’re interested in more help. Contact my friend, Alida McDaniel, an Intuitive Life Strategist, Culinary Artist, Personal Trainer, and Galactic Rainbow Unicorn, at www.alidamcdaniel.com! I’m sure she can set you right!